Good Friday

As I was singing to Ruby while rocking her to sleep this week, the same song kept coming to mind. Stuart Townend's How Deep the Father's Love is one of my favorites. 

"How deep the Father's love for us, 
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory."

This Easter season, Good Friday has taken on a whole new meaning in my heart. Now that I have my own child, the word "searing" seems the perfect fit to describe the loss that God felt as His only Son was crucified, taking on the sin of the world. A loss that is extreme, intense, and leaves its mark upon the one experiencing it. 

This week I got my panties in a wad when someone cut me off in traffic. I got my feelings hurt , and I was offended when an individual falsely accused me of something. I raised my voice when Ruby was screaming non stop while water was pouring out of my bathroom pipes. I wanted to make Levi feel guilty for not being available during a hard time. I spent an enormous amount of time on facebook and about 10 minutes in prayer. I gossiped. I doubted that God really had any kind of plan for me and my family. I complained. I grumbled. I assumed I was better than the next person. The list goes on. 

God's grace has allowed me to recognize (although I'll never understand) His searing loss, His Son's sacrifice, and the implications it has for my stony heart. Christ came for the sick, He served, and He was obedient even to the point of death. The same power that raised Christ from the dead is in me, empowering me to love and extend grace, kindness, and even (gasp!) forgiveness. I am privileged to share in His sufferings. I pray that when searing loss inevitably comes my way that I will count it as an honor to share in Christ's sufferings and will always be mindful of the hope I have in Him. 

I just don't really know what to do except keep singing those verses over and over again until they penetrate deeply. 

How deep the Father's love for us!