Precious Firsts

Well, I've already started tearing up writing this post. In an effort to not make it into "Diaries of a Postpartum Lady", I will try to stick with the facts. :) Ruby Clare Miller entered the world at 4:10 AM on Sunday, October 28, 2012. We thought just maybe my labor would NOT be 23 hours long and she would be here on the 27th, but she just seemed as if she wanted to spend a few last hours in her warm, cozy environment before coming into this cold, sterile world.

All I have been able to think about this whole first week is how shocked I am that she is here and that she is here to stay. I'm shocked that she is perfectly healthy-- I was convinced that something would be wrong and tried to prepare myself for the worst. I'm shocked at how much we love her. I'm shocked at the havoc bringing a child into this world wreaks on the body. I'm shocked at how much I don't really care now that I've met her. I'm shocked that she belongs to Levi and me and how sobering it is to have a life entrusted to us by God. I'm shocked that God's design for bringing children into the world can be such an immense blessing. It is a normal, everyday, mundane miracle that I refuse to take for granted. I'm NOT shocked, however, at how cute our little Ruby Clare is. I mean, we knew she would be.

This first week has been stressful and overwhelming and wonderful all at the same time! We've had countless calls, texts, visits, and meals that we have really appreciated. I didn't cook much before, so we all know I'm not starting again anytime soon. Being in the hospital was a blur of medical health professionals in my room at all hours of the night and me obsessing about them not taking her to the nursery. I'm going to refrain from writing about any of the labor and delivery, because it got a little gory and no one wants to read about that. LOL. Maybe another post for another time. Coming home was special, and my mom got a little bit of it on video with her iphone. I'm glad she was there to help me up the stairs to our apartment while Levi carried Ruby. Now that we've been home, Ruby has honed her nursing and sleeping skills. She eats for about 15-30 minutes and will sleep after that anywhere from 2-5 hours at a time. This has been really great. Besides one really rough night in which I had no swaddling skills and probably should have realized she was cold and hungry, we have been doing pretty well. I've developed an eczema outbreak covering about 60% of my body (probably triggered by stress) that has kept me really uncomfortable and grieving the body I once had. I am 20 pounds heavier and covered in red spots, but Levi has been sweet, helpful, and encouraging every step of the way. He's a great dad already. Tummy time has really only consisted of me holding Ruby on my chest while she sleeps. She likes to lift her head up and look around every once in a while. Sometimes we can get her to open up her eyes and look at us for a little while, but for the most part, the girl likes to snooze. She doesn't love diaper changes, but if I can quickly do them while she is still in her milky or sleepy stupor, they go well. She is the wiggliest little girl I've ever known and her little legs and feet remind me of a jack rabbit. I call her a little bunny. She has long skinny legs, long skinny feet and toes, and long perfectly manicured fingers and nails. Ruby makes the sweetest little sounds while eating, has a high pitched forest animal cry, and snorts/sneezes alot (I should probably use the bulb syringe to clean out those nasal passages soon). The most unforgettable part of this first week is how thankful I have been every single day. I can't believe how perfect she is and how much I fear and pray for her well-being. It is a new kind of fear that I do not enjoy and that has had me surrendering her to God over and over and praying for peace. Oh, Parenthood, you are rich, invasive, bitter, wonderful, and difficult all at the same time. Here we go!