Ruby Red

Ruby, Ruby, what a day we have had!
You have started your second month of life with a bang, and you have wasted no time developing horrible cradle cap all over your face. You also have continued to look yellow to me, so off to the doctor we went this morning. Thankfully, your Aunt Lauren stopped by to bring me a nutritious McDonald's breakfast and offered to accompany us. My suspicions were confirmed that your bilirubin is a little high for your age, so of course we had to follow your heel prick with a more invasive blood draw from your little arm. All of this was followed by your Hep B vaccination. You poor little lady. I think you cried more today than you have your entire existence. You certainly live up to your name as your face turns a deep shade of red in about a millisecond when you are in pain or upset. Bless your little heart- Your face was red alot today. :( I kept telling myself that a few seconds of pain are so much more tolerable than possible brain/liver dysfunction. This got me through the screams. The great news is that you are a healthy little girl, and you are up to 8 pounds, 11 ounces...the 35th percentile I think is what they told me. Way to go, little Rubes!
After your doctor's appointment, "we" needed a little emotional pick-me-up. What better place to squander our time (and money) than at Target! This was our first shopping outing together. I'm just breaking you in slowly. You did great and slept basically all day. I think you were completely worn out from all the morning doctor drama. Next was your Gigi's house, your Aunt Lauren's house, and then to Hobby Lobby.
Part two of the horrible day continued when we got home and I scrubbed your little cradle cap (cradle mask is a better term) with Selsun Blue. You were also not excited about this. You have been sleeping ever since I put you in your PJ's and held you close. Bless it.
Tomorrow I promise we will do a lot of snuggling and eating and decorating for Christmas. I'll even eat some cookies for you. Here's to a better tomorrow! Congratulations on making it through your first month of life in this crazy world. It will only get better. :)

Settling In

Week two went a bit smoother than week one, and now that we are in the midst of week three I feel as if we are finally settling in (as much as one does with a newborn).

 Our days are slow and simple, and that is how I like them. Recently, you are sleeping anywhere from 3-6 hours at a time at night. You are usually awake when Levi leaves for work, so we get to tell him bye and then we take a little nap until a more "reasonable" hour. Six in the morning will never be a reasonable hour to me. Nine or ten sounds (and feels!) much better. After our nap, we get ready for the day, which usually consists of me quickly brushing my teeth and putting a little deodorant on and giving you a quick little bath and diaper change. Today I even got brave and trimmed your long, perfectly manicured (but sharp) nails that you have had since birth. Next is when we play dress up for approximately 20 minutes where I try to make all of the really cute clothes that your Gigi bought you from Gap fit you even though they are all still way too big. After we are ready for the day, you basically eat and sleep and stay awake for a little bit and repeat the whole cycle all over again.

You are a pro at raising your head and weight bearing on your tiny little elbows when you feel like it. You've seemed much more awake and alert this week, which has been really fun. I finally broke down and gave you a paci to soothe you at night when you just get fussy and restless for no reason apparent to this new mom. You are nursing pretty well except for when you take in a little too much at one time and do some coughing (which makes me sad). I spend my free time reading all kinds of articles on Kellymom.com, watching depressing daytime television, writing thank you notes, praying for your safety and well being, and trying to keep up with the everyday. The change of pace that has come with staying at home has been great but very different. I am not going and doing all day, but I am supposed to be available 24/7 nonetheless.

We went on some walks this week, which was good for both of us. You just doze off while I push your giant stroller up the hill on our circle. We've gone a mile each time, although at the rate I am consuming chocolate cake and cornbread that people have brought us, I'm sure my weight has remained the same despite the daily exercise...

Levi has constantly reminded me that I don't have to have a list of things that I've "done" all day to prove that I am valuable. I like to at least have one thing to report, but it is nice to hear that just keeping up with a newborn is very worthwhile. I know this, but it is truly a blessing to have a husband that views it equally as worthwhile. Now that basketball season is in full force, You and I are going to have a lot of nights alone together. I can't think of a more precious way to spend my evenings. :) I mean, really- that is ALOT of cute, y'all!

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Precious Firsts

Well, I've already started tearing up writing this post. In an effort to not make it into "Diaries of a Postpartum Lady", I will try to stick with the facts. :) Ruby Clare Miller entered the world at 4:10 AM on Sunday, October 28, 2012. We thought just maybe my labor would NOT be 23 hours long and she would be here on the 27th, but she just seemed as if she wanted to spend a few last hours in her warm, cozy environment before coming into this cold, sterile world.

All I have been able to think about this whole first week is how shocked I am that she is here and that she is here to stay. I'm shocked that she is perfectly healthy-- I was convinced that something would be wrong and tried to prepare myself for the worst. I'm shocked at how much we love her. I'm shocked at the havoc bringing a child into this world wreaks on the body. I'm shocked at how much I don't really care now that I've met her. I'm shocked that she belongs to Levi and me and how sobering it is to have a life entrusted to us by God. I'm shocked that God's design for bringing children into the world can be such an immense blessing. It is a normal, everyday, mundane miracle that I refuse to take for granted. I'm NOT shocked, however, at how cute our little Ruby Clare is. I mean, we knew she would be.

This first week has been stressful and overwhelming and wonderful all at the same time! We've had countless calls, texts, visits, and meals that we have really appreciated. I didn't cook much before, so we all know I'm not starting again anytime soon. Being in the hospital was a blur of medical health professionals in my room at all hours of the night and me obsessing about them not taking her to the nursery. I'm going to refrain from writing about any of the labor and delivery, because it got a little gory and no one wants to read about that. LOL. Maybe another post for another time. Coming home was special, and my mom got a little bit of it on video with her iphone. I'm glad she was there to help me up the stairs to our apartment while Levi carried Ruby. Now that we've been home, Ruby has honed her nursing and sleeping skills. She eats for about 15-30 minutes and will sleep after that anywhere from 2-5 hours at a time. This has been really great. Besides one really rough night in which I had no swaddling skills and probably should have realized she was cold and hungry, we have been doing pretty well. I've developed an eczema outbreak covering about 60% of my body (probably triggered by stress) that has kept me really uncomfortable and grieving the body I once had. I am 20 pounds heavier and covered in red spots, but Levi has been sweet, helpful, and encouraging every step of the way. He's a great dad already. Tummy time has really only consisted of me holding Ruby on my chest while she sleeps. She likes to lift her head up and look around every once in a while. Sometimes we can get her to open up her eyes and look at us for a little while, but for the most part, the girl likes to snooze. She doesn't love diaper changes, but if I can quickly do them while she is still in her milky or sleepy stupor, they go well. She is the wiggliest little girl I've ever known and her little legs and feet remind me of a jack rabbit. I call her a little bunny. She has long skinny legs, long skinny feet and toes, and long perfectly manicured fingers and nails. Ruby makes the sweetest little sounds while eating, has a high pitched forest animal cry, and snorts/sneezes alot (I should probably use the bulb syringe to clean out those nasal passages soon). The most unforgettable part of this first week is how thankful I have been every single day. I can't believe how perfect she is and how much I fear and pray for her well-being. It is a new kind of fear that I do not enjoy and that has had me surrendering her to God over and over and praying for peace. Oh, Parenthood, you are rich, invasive, bitter, wonderful, and difficult all at the same time. Here we go!